lmao

Oh I can’t wait for the fallout from this. He’s got a wife that’s going to see this and probably an employer. He better stop paying that internet bill at home if he wants to delay the inevitable.

I’m being “Sexy Kim Davis.” Complete with “NOPE” rubber stamp. You have no idea how hard it is to make a corduroy jumper even come close to “sexy.” Especially when scowling! I did my best. Although I will press it before we go out!

Wonder how long he’ll actually stay in, on top of that?

I guess that “Yeah, but the starship Enterprise was built by professionals” would be an acceptable rejoinder.

“Another question to make you think: Why is this photo so blurry?”

#notallicebergs.

do we think he’d be cool with amateurs performing brain surgery then? I’m confused. I mean he literally sounds like someone talking in their sleep, but still. What’s the message here?

It is also important to remember that ONE ISN’T FUCKING REAL AHHHHHFDAJVRUWNGOIRWNTDJSNGUDSNGJDNSGJKDSG.

Obviously, the picture is blurry because it was taken by a professional.

She ended up polishing his resume

Well, when I was in school my spindly armed old granny teachers would just slide the whole desk outside with the student still sitting in it and close the door. IT seemed to work fine and no one was ever thrown across the room.

Right. Because an Amish bride would be wearing a white bustier and panties.

I’m living in Germany right now and saw the movie. No joke guys, it’s SO GOOD.

It’s actually an incredibly dark satire about current German society and the return of extremist, xenophobic rhetoric, specifically in response to the refugee crisis currently occurring here.

I no joke think it should be considered for an…

I made a quick movie poster for Tarantino’s This Here Bitch

THIS!

I’ve been reading Jezebel for at least 5 years now and this is what it took for me to create an account. I mean, filed to: ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Hoes’?? This post is masterful.

Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.

lol “vibing over our hoeism,” this sounds like a story someone tells you when while you’re taking drivers ed classes during your instructors smoke breaks. and you’re sixteen and the chick regaling you with her confessionals is like a month older and you think, “fuck, i can’t wait to start adulting”