“What’s the sense in hurting my pride?”

I’m sorry. I’m having an exceptonally bad... month. They’re eliminating my position where I work. So I’m just all kinds of... *flails around*. I didn’t mean to get short with you.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA ARGUE ABOUT THEN??

I don’t think it’s “normal” or “decent” to try to get someone drunker than they might want to be without their knowledge. Not a “funny prank” to play on a potentially pregnant woman, or someone on medication, or the night’s designated driver...

Now THAT’S festive.

C’mon, “Say, what’s in this drink?” is pretty fucking suspect

I don’t know. The man at the end looks groggy as all out. While the woman is laughing her head off. Possibly at her handiwork? “When you pass out I am drawing penises on your face and instagraming that everywhere!”

Would have loved being a fly on the wall of that editorial meeting.

Oh no! You don’t understand! This is a joke and there’s a war on jokes and people are so overly sensitive with their political correctness nowadays! People can’t take a joke!

No! See it was a joke! You thought you were drinking a non-alcoholic beverage haha cause you’re an alcoholic haha and your dad drank himself to death haha and you’re trying to stay sober. But I put rum in the drink there when you went to the bathroom haha. And then you didn’t know you were drunk so you drove home and…

The war against christmas is waaaaaaaaay more damaging than date rape! duh.

College graduation ceremony. Didn’t want to be there: most of my friends were older than I am and had graduated, plus I’m a faculty brat and know too much about how the sausage gets made. My parents made me because grandparents, but fucked if I was paying attention during the student speeches.* Robes conceal…

I played softball in high school too but instead of reading I would juggle (in the dugout where ALL THE BALLS were) or do the running man and sing ice ice baby the whole time. My teammates loved it, coaches did not. To this day I flinch when balls fly my direction.

IDK but I’m pretty sure she just recruited me into a pyramid scheme.

It’s like when they made an I,Robot movie that aside from the Three Laws Of Robotics had nothing to do with Isaac Asimov or his stories. They just took a generic robot themed sci-fi movie and slapped a recognizable title on it.

TOO LATE. UNIVERSAL MAKE ONE WOMAN MOVIE A YEAR, ALL DUMB MIDDLE AGED WHITE WOMEN, LOOK FOR INNER PEACE.

This fall had a rash of movies that made me wonder, “Who the hell is this for, anyway?” Apparently a few young girls are aware of Jem, but most people who recognize the name are women in their 30s and 40s. If they wanted an audience for this, they needed to tap into at least a bit of what made the cartoon cool. That…

“Good.” - My dead hamster - Jem - from her grave

Dear Universal,