They were actually perfectly in line with my views on guns. Everyone should be able to own muskets. The right to keep and bear muskets should not be abridged. It’s all the fuckers since them who’ve failed to update the law.

my texts is always grammatically Correct;

Don’t worry everyone, I’m sure some of GM’s one-issue assholes will be along presently to remind us that an amendment passed 200+ years ago by slave-owning misogynist pricks is more sacrosanct than these lives.

If terrorists were taking out 89 people a day conservatives would think we should all give up our rights to privacy so that there could be more wire tapping, spying, checkpoints, etc., but because it’s the constitutional right to guns at risk instead of the constitutional right to privacy and to be free from…

There’s nothing we can do about it.

Another shooting! Hurry up and do nothing!

We had an epic fight in my family about that where my dad won it because he knew it was Mary. It was so bad the local priest had to be called to settle it. My religious aunt didn't talk to my dad fo awhile.

My favorite yoga studio used to do most of their classes in 75-80 degree rooms, which is bearable, but a little warm. But then they’d have one or two “sweaty” classes, in like 95-100 degrees. I took a sweaty class once and almost passed out in the first 10 minutes.

Yeaaah. I don’t not.

[strums a guitar]

I did hot yoga once. I’m still trying to decide whether I want to do it again. My skin was AWESOME for like a week afterwards, which is a substantial enough benefit for me to do it again. The instructor was good.

I honestly think you’d get more neighbor complaints about the bagpipes than the backyard barbecue.

Dad wants us to build him a funeral pyre and set it on fire in the backyard.

If it wasn’t true, why hasn’t she come out and denied it? What does she have to hide?

I’m going to do no research at all and assume the grave that fell on her belonged to a woman who she horribly wronged.

Wow well now that's my new funeral plan. The funeral director has to be super dramatic about it though and have some FREAK OUT monologue about either being in love with me and if he can't have me THE EARTH CANT or freak out about me being horrible and a terrible witch or something

Exactly. Hate each other, whatever, but children are not weapons in your personal war of the roses.

All judges involved in this case since she (or “someone”) had his US visa revoked have said that it is in the best interest of the children to stay in France/Monaco

I sincerely doubt that a single attorney can just call up the State Department and get someone’s visa revoked based on nothing more than his/her word alone.

Abusive people don’t look like cartoon villains, but rather like normal people. I’m not saying this guy is abusive, but posting a smiling photo of him with his kid literally proves nothing one way or the other.