The restaurant bubble has been itching to burst for a decade now.

If your eggs have salmonella, it’s because the hen that laid them has an asymptomatic salmonella infection of her ovaries. The salmonella is calling from inside the egg!

If your body can pop out a kid or pop a kid into someone else, and you’re walking around on Halloween night without a kid, you have no business trick or treating. 

Why does Ted assume that we care what a homophobic genocidal maniac thinks about a racist genocidal maniac?

Is it? Pedrad is Iranian and Kardashian is Armenian.

Same. If I had to do my job and then some chump’s min wage job on top of it, the next time you’d see my face would be on 60 Minutes.

I’m tired of seeing Paul give not good feedback to bakers about their bread.

They’re my fav aquarium fish. I had big dreams of being an algae farmer as a kid so i could have several of them. 

I desperately need to know if those koi are ok.

Let me subscribe to your newsletter. 

All beans are terrible, and the people who simp beans so hard are kidding themselves and throwing all relatability and credibility out the window.

They frequently do that during the latter episodes. 

People ate at these things? I always thought they were money laundering fronts. 

Gingerbread houses capable of supporting actual reindeer landing on them.

Those countries use a different method to calculate octane ratings than we do. If you were half as smart as you pretended to be, you’d 1. know that, and 2. know that regular gas in japan is 89. 

Maybe that was bad timing to roll out a flashy new menu item—it could have come across as a desperate ploy to lure back skittish customers.

Millennials are in their mid 30s early 40s…

Friends is not popular. It was cancelled years ago for being transphobic. 

You used one space after a period in your comment boomer.

Bushel gourds are grown to be turned into storage containers.