Yeah, not to be a Debbie Downer but this isn't 4-D.

I've actually been to that coffee place and was initially confused about their coffee offerings myself but settled on the non-adventurous option. Best damn coffee of my life. To hell with normal coffee after that.

'It's not figuring out how to get the 787 program to make money'

I would take a rotating Hawaiian shirt over the same shirt every day guy in our lab. I don't even bother with the elevator if I see he was just on it.

Never fully caught my parents in the act but definitely heard a few things. Best thing ever was when they were arguing at night and my mom yells 'is that all I am to you? A sex machine?' We still address all cards and gifts to 'the sex machine'.

Calling women girls.

My dad was a Star Trek nerd when he was a kid and wrote to Leonard Nimoy. He got back a printed autograph picture of Spock saying 'Logically, Spock'. I now have it and I love it.

That steak one actually made me have to put down my coffee. Ugh...

Sometimes when I am thinking about it, I tend to get excited that I remembered one and I'll try to talk to my husband about it. He just gets this pained "I really don't need to hear this" look.

I've honestly lost count. Every time I think it is a certain number I remember some obscure encounter.

I was always waiting for him to call out 'garçon' in an American accent to indicate he was joking but no.

I dated a guy who'd snap his fingers to call a waiter over. Only one of many reasons he'll be single for life.

I was doing that maze (not knowing what happened) when I was on the phone with my mom. Scary thing happens and I start screaming, mom calls the cops. Thanks, mom.

I am pretty sure I could complete an obstacle course in heels better than 90% of my coworkers in athletic shoes.

Another reason for having a DW? It is just what works for the bride and groom. I had a DW in Oregon this past spring and a huge reason we picked Oregon is our families are completely scattered all over the country. No matter where we decided to get married it was going to be a destination wedding for almost…

Just gonna throw out there that his list of things he wants to do with her is nearly identical to the list my abusive ex made when I broke it off and he wanted me back. "I'm just going to list off things I think you want but not make any real effort to actually change anything about me for it to matter."

I say those exact words to my cats every damn day.

I was with a man who had a tiny penis. When I first happen upon it I was confused and thought maybe he wasn't super hard. And then he came in my hand which instantly answered that question. He would come from just touching my skin. It didn't work out.

At least it delivers on the making bad life choices part of being 18 again, like buying and using vaginal shrinking cream.

Not sure what book it was but the one with the spiders in the woman's face still wins as the most terrifying thing I've ever read. I had marked that page in my book so I knew to flip past it (since there was an equally scary illustration with it).