I have a fairytale evil stepmother. The most incredible gift she got me my friends and I still laugh about-- for about a year she considered herself a budding photographer and bought an iPad to take “stunning” photos. Yes, an entire iPad. She took a blurry, uncentered photo of a trip to London she and my Dad took…

A few years ago, my mother-in-law gave me a pair of niceish socks. They were exceedingly boring and in no way a thoughtful gift, bit I did need a few pairs of decent socks, so whatever, I said “thanks, I’ve been needing to get some more socks.” She replied, “good, because I tried giving them to my dad and he didn’t…

When I was around nearing my teens, my wealthy god father gave me a pack of cheap firecrackers.....

lol you must be married to my ex! 

When I want to be insulting, I give an Applebee’s gift card. 

About 17 years ago, I was briefly engaged. In that month long of time, my (bipolar narcissistic) mom inundated me with menus, venues, bakeries, wedding dress vendors, and told me she was going to invite 300 people to the wedding and also that she and my dad were going to give me $10,000 for said wedding.

Just change the text to her name

My mother in law, who I love, and I think was just being a bit oblivious, once gave my husband 100$ then told me she was going to pay a person to come clean my house for me. I definitely told her no thank you, on the spot.

My mom gave me broken gifts every year. It became a running joke among my friends. One year it was a broken cream pitcher from Goodwill with a note about how I could fix it. I turned it into a planter for a cactus. Another it was a weird broken locket with a massive close up of my son’s face in it, cut out from a…

My uncle hates those chocolate covered cherries they sell at drugstores during the holidays. So of course, he gets 20 boxes every year as “gag gifts.” He’s pretty fucking sick of people who think it’s funny. It’s been going on for years.

I about pissed my pants laughing the year Spanx sent me a “holiday gift giving guide.” “Here’s a girdle! Merry Christmas, fatass!”

Clothes. No one knows my size/style/age. One year, I received an argyle sweater vest in a kids XL. Another year, it was an adult L t-shirt that said “I can handle my attitude all on my own”. I’m a 165 lb, 33-year-old. 

In middle school I spent a long time agonizing over my best friend’s gift. Having no money, I tried to get her something thoughtful that she would like. Her gift to me was a sweater that said “World’s Greatest Grandpa” - this was pre-irony. She later slept with my boyfriend in college and tried to sleep with another.…

Last year my stocking at my (now) ex’s mom’s house was filled with fresh breath products....a new fancy toothbrush, gum, those denta-picks, toothpaste, etc. I do not feel like I have a dirty mouth, never had any complaints, I brush and floss regularly and go to the dentist regularly (okay the last one is a lie), but…