“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

The thought of Bartolo Colon: Deadbeat Dad makes me sad, but the thought of Bartolo Colon: Attorney at Law makes me happy.

Serves him right. His poor belt has been supporting two extra people for years.

His supporters raised more money than any politician, ever, in the history of time and without the benefit of a Super PAC of big money donors buying their candidate.

Fuck Hillary Clinton and fuck her supporters. Had she ran a fair primary, she’d be cruising to victory. Instead, she and the DNC tilted the odds in her…

Actually, Hillary should get the fuck out, because she is facing federal charges, is widely considered to be corrupt, takes money from a wide range of questionable people, and really isn’t even a very good politician by any objective measure.

“Him”, not “that”. Please, Mike, corns are people too!

Could be worse. I mean, blood clots aren't as devastating as the comet that wiped out the rest of his family sixty five million years ago.

She’s the size of a fucking coke machine. I’m surprised the punch even wobbled her.

I am shocked someone in this video is fat.

Get your swords....

Ok, I was thinking BABIP (batting average on balls in play) + MMMBop. Makes no sense, in retrospect, but still I like it.