I miss the days when The Onion imitated real life, instead of the other way around!

Gee, the one unifying theme in all these was a dislike and mistrust of Hillary. Something much of the left agrees with. Someone remind me why the DNC pretty much anointed her as the nominee again?

Nah. The overwhelming number of calls and emails a lot of Republican reps got was what sunk this. I won’t say Trump’s tweet didn’t play into the equation at all, but it was a drop in the bucket.

Democrats in general are GOP in disguise. They spent the last thirty years turning into Rockefeller Republicans, which is still not as bad as what the GOP did, which was spend the last thirty years eating lead paint chips and cozying up to Jesus freaks.

He’s kind of everything progressives are sick of. As a democratic socialist, I really can’t see any daylight between this corrupt asshole doing billionaires’ bidding and the republican corrupt assholes doing the same. I mean, different billionaires, different assholes, I guess. There’s no party for, of and by working…

He should be allowed nowhere near the 2020 presidential election.

She is such ao badass diva she cant even be bothered to sing her own stuff. Boss level 10

Well, maybe a giant meteor impacting Mar-a-lago at 30 seconds until midnight. That would have been more appropriate.

Is this how a basic bitch thinks?

“And that’s what it is”

“Georgie, this man is in charge of the treasonous, violent, hilbilly tax cheats Daddy was telling you about.”

Seriously, though: fuck you, 2016.

To my fellow minorities and marginalized folks:

That’s the worst part of it. These fucking liars cast doubt on all the real stories. It’s almost too late, really. Once you hear a few fake stories, you’re going to call “Chicken Little” on many of the others.

Not to mention the false Kitty Genovese narrative that bystanders did nothing.

Ugh teenagers, please stop making stuff up. You will get found out, and it will cast doubt on all the legitimate incidents of hate crimes post-election.

I adore both of these dudes but was always skeptical of folks keeping them in the 2020 conversation as well. 80 is up there.

I’m not gay, I’m bisexual. And I’m not a vegan — I’m a pescetarian. Have a nice night!

We did this with Beyonce already.

She's actually doing pretty OK until around 50 seconds in, then it all goes downhill.