If that shit is an ingredient, then so the fuck is fish sauce. I have never thought to myself, "you know what this plate full of food needs? Some fermented salty fish juice." That stuff makes some dishes, but I have never wanted to dip my balls in it, which is kind of what makes a condiment.

I think it was just a mouth fart. The context strongly implies he was referring to the field.

He called the field a 53 x 100 yard triangle.

Also, plant some. I have the same problem with thyme because it's an intense herb and if you used an entire bunch from the store the herb police will come and rape you and then spit on you. If you have a deck you can grow some in a pot. If you live in a condo and you have a window and your window faces south or…

Apparently he asked for the Tiger special which, interestingly, is Alfredo sauce based.

Dude, from salon.com:

This guy had me until he started jacking it to a blue screen.

Great stuff as always. A good Caesar should taste like @vodka_samm feels on crystal meth. Question: in your experience, is anchovy paste a suitable substitute for the fillets? I have a tube in my fridge that I've been wanting to use. Also, from Maine last week -

Shrimp is #2? Are you fucking kidding me? That stuff tastes like the shit that the last person in the human centipede produced. Also, chicken used to be good, but they changed the formula like 20 years ago and now it tastes like a port-a-potty toilet seat in the summer in Alabama during a food poisoning outbreak at…

We can only hops they'll do better next time.

Fine whatever. We got Skoal and illiteracy and bourbon. I'm going to come up there and eat all your lobsters and clams. All of them. And oysters.

FUCK YOU AND YOUR WAR OF AGGRESSION.

Thanks for the tip. I will make it and insist on calling it lobster POT pie though. Because the south.

Oh man I completely forgot about the butter poaching post. Sounds so good. Apparently they are like $2.20/lb off the boat so I will be trying literally ALL of the methods.

Awesome stuff. Literally could not be better timing; I'm headed to Maine for Labor Day weekend and we plan to buy all if the lobsters and go clamming. Any tips on best ways to consume lobster? (I fully plan to completely botch some poached eggs and make some ghetto lobster eggs Benedict with Benton's bacon and…

Those are reasonable, well argued points, but you're still a wuss. (Can I say pussy on the internet?) I don't have kids yet, but am led to believe that the best way to take care of them is, in fact, drunk. They learn to fear you and the sauce.

I think the bigger issue here is what species of asshole doesn't finish a goddamn bottle of wine. They do sell some canister of shit juice like nitrogen or whatever that is supposed to displace the oxygen beneath the cork, if you happen to be genetically deficient enough to not be able to finish a bottle.

I second that notion, but there's something about that Kimball guy that makes me want to stick my dick in a pencil sharpener. His face is just so ASSY.

Or at least have a strain of weed named after it.