I once left a review on Zappos wherein I used the phrase “Target quality at Macy’s price.”

My mom swears it didn’t happen, but I distinctly remember the night my wracking cough was keeping the whole house awake, we were out of all useful medicine, and lived in the sticks with no 24 hour store. So I was administered bourbon. It worked and I didn’t become a drunk for 30 years after that. And I blame adulthood…

“Not worth what they’re charging” is a pretty consistent grumble from me when clothes shopping the last five years.

I like that blazer but not $178 worth. That’s the kind of money you spend on something you’ll still be wearing in 5 years, not something cute and whimsical.

Ass. It tastes like ass.

Were I still a virgin at 27, my father would have wondered what was wrong with me.

My willingness to use Amazon over the local CVS isn’t helped by my grudge against that particular store’s pharmacy manager. So yeah, fuck CVS, too.

Via Amazon Instant Video, he’s bankrupting me $1.99 at a time. (Not really - I’m not a moron. But it’s a better turn of phrase than anything else I can come up with. And I’d still rather give it to him than TW fucking C.)

This. I know they suck. But I also know what is or is not in stock without driving around town checking four places for something none of them have.

I would be more ethical were I not so fucking lazy. Last week I ordered tweezers rather than swing by CVS on my way home.

This was my second thought. After “jesus christ.”

I used to love them but the last one I read kind of sucked.

I read a thread of multiple commenters defending the decision to not make Jones’ character a scientist because her brand of comedy makes it impossible for her to successfully portray a scientist. I was left with the impression that people have stereotyped ideas of what scientists are like.

People who spend $2,395 on shoes have their servants lay down in the mud, then walk across the servant.

That I’m considering finding the ep Hunter Pence apparently appeared in testifies to how much I fucking love Hunter Pence. I can’t think of anyone else whose appearance would inspire me to subject myself to this show. Except maybe MadBum.

I read half of the first book, hated it, quickly discovered the fans don’t take kindly to differing opinions and learned to keep my mouth shut.

And I remember a post on this exact site saying drugs that would increase orgasms for women are bad because the medical establishment shouldn’t be telling women what constitutes good sex.

There’s already a chemical with a proven track record of inspiring me to fuck when I normally wouldn’t. It’s called alcohol.

It’s a HUGE topic of interest to me because I have IBS (alternating, no less.) Having to remember others are so distressed by mention of it is highly annoying.

I learned “Crimson Tide” as a euphemism long before I learned the team name and as a result, can’t laugh without hearing it.