TL;DR Parents treated family finances as a cooperative venture and involved kids in shopping, house-hunting, picking health insurance, picking credit cards, etc. We were never under any illusions that we had the deciding vote, but they went out of their way to share family financial information that we could…

A lot of times the family plan is cheaper per line. Some of my friends pay their part. Some of them just let their parents pay and pay them back in a lump sum at various points.

This does not in any way change my point.

Probably the thinking previously was that everyone should just get baptized, and now LDS leaders are realizing the situation is more complicated?

I have to wonder about the logic there. Seeing a fellow teenager be pregnant played a huge part in my determination to never, ever go through that without a legal spouse. It was the most effective pro-abstinence ad ever.

On one hand, very true.

Wanting nothing to do with the church is not the same as actively encouraging violation of the doctrine. Similarly, a convicted murderer serving their time is not the same.

Fair enough. The LDS church is pretty different from other Christian churches and that can weird some people out.

They can’t get baptized until they’re not dependent on their parents, i.e. 18 or so. That seems like a logical policy to make to avoid putting elementary-aged kids in a bad position or making a teenager’s life much harder than it should be.

They’re not being punished. They can be baptized when they become an adult. And if they die, their work can be done after they’re dead. LDS baptism is not a time-limited offer that you have to jump on at 8 or you miss the opportunity.

Their work can be done a year after death with permission of their nearest relative, who does not have to be LDS, or 90 years after their death.

Most church members are very tolerant - respecting choice and loving everyone is pretty heavily emphasized. It is different in Utah though, which I suspect is where most of the horror stories come from. I know many church members who find Utah too oppressive and close-minded.

Apostates don’t have to lose their LDS friends. They’re only barred from temple worship (not regular church meetings), taking the sacrament, and giving sacrament talks or prayers at church.

Yeah. I know that LDS leaders have been asking parents to stop getting their kids to bear testimony, but I’m not sure how much effect it’s been having.

Being an apostate doesn’t mean being shunned. Some people still do it I’m sure, because sometimes people make bad choices, but generally the counsel is to love and respect family/friends as you can and treat them well.

And their work can be done in the temples a year after death with permission of the nearest relative, who does not need to be LDS afaik. Or about 90 years after death without that.

None of that is contrary to church doctrine.

That’s not in any way related to what actually happened. If you’re going to disagree with a religion, at least get your facts straight please.

No, it’s really not. I didn’t get baptized at the standard age because I wasn’t sure, and everyone respected that.

I’m not sure why you think the LDS church is the opposite of everything she is. It’s a lot more tolerant than 90% of the other religions I’ve looked into.