He hasn’t put himself through the rolling around in ice water whilst emoting ringer enough. Maybe he doesn’t care.

Noooo! Do NOT dust the pitchforks, and most definitely do not sand off the rust. The added potential for infection or tetanus is a feature, not a bug!

Help. When I type “fuck” in a message, my phone’s predictive text suggests “Meghan.” I just can’t quit you, you crazy, aggravating mental midget. #itsnotaboutyou #weknowhewasyourdad

Hey don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.

“Oh this dude I met on the internet is transporting me across state lines using a method that wouldn’t immediately set off red flags like a flight or train probably a chill dude you should definitely be taking me to”

I mean, as far as I know I don’t have to show a driver’s license or id when I get into an uber, but I have to permanently record all of that when I get on a flight if the ticket is for me. If he purchased a ticket for her it would show that he knowingly booked it with the knowledge she was underage I would think. …

I would say because Uber is much less of a paper trail.

And yet probably more functional. 

Yes, if the boys are to be believed (which I absolutely do) he ran drills with them how not to get caught. He knew it was wrong, he knew the consequences. He was a sick fuck who thought what he was doing was fine. Gaslighting. threatening... Watching the documentary, I was like, fuck, this was all so obvious. So…

I’m always struck by how boring the lives of *most* rich people seem. It’s like being mega-wealthy eliminates the need to have any kind of imagination.

He is a garbage person, but this is a totally acceptable thing to say in a private text to one of his kids especially if they have a great relationship.  

Is it odd that I think Kylie Jenner’s life seems really boring? I mean I know she has a gajillion dollars and a big house but I hope she gets some hobbies. Maybe join a book club or learn guitar or paint seascapes because at 20 her life seems on loop with boy trouble, lip kits and her super controlling momager. She is…

Humankind thanks you from the bottom of our hearts.

Thank you. Grief is an abyss that can consume even the hardest amongst us. You offered a lifeline. Again, thank you. 

During these trying times, we should get a weekly Keanu feature to soothe our frazzled souls. Just a random story about Keanu being good and pure somewhere, somewhen.

IDGAF: I still think that he’s not that bad of an actor in general. Does he deserve an Oscar for acting? No, but he gets undeservingly dragged over the coals for his acting ability.

...seriously? Sonny Chiba deserves more than to be remembered as the guy who had a cameo in Kill Bill, the man is a legend

He’s bizarrely underrated as an action hero. He’s in many of the best action movies and convincingly shoots guns and does martial arts unlike most of the big guys.

Ford could easily be swapped with Reeves there.