My cousin once saw a biker (bicycle not motorcycle) who’d been hit by a car and when they cut him out of his bike shorts, they found he’d stuffed a sausage - like a bratwurst - in there. She said she and the nurses were unprofessional and laughed a bit before they could stifle it, so luckily dude was unconscious or…

I wasn’t aware of gay men having P-V intercourse, a few hermaphrodites excepted.

I fail to see how this contributes to the plausibility of surprise anal. Yes, it is anatomicaly possible, but I’ve never experienced or heard of surprise anal between gay guys. We’re usually pretty aware of our butts and what’s happening around them.

ok, THANK YOU, because this is always my response—accidentally anal is impossible, because you have to really work at intentional anal (ok, I do, but I’m assuming I’m not alone). like you have to breathe and relax and get some lube and the one with the phallus that’s doing the inserting needs to be gentle and go…

TL;DR women was having sex through her urethra her entire life.

I want you to have this conversation and I want to be on speaker phone.

Like fully right in here? I’ve def experienced a drunken whoops, but like the door was closed. Do I have an unusually tight anus?

You need to chill. There are many more important things in this story than your partisan nonsense and your preferred timeline. You’re not the police, you’re not the victim’s family, and you’re not the editor of Jezebel. Go write in your journal about this grave injustice to YOU and leave everyone else out of it.

And screenshot-ed.

STOP COMING TO A CELEBRITY GOSSIP SITE AND EXPECTING BREAKING NEWS.

As someone who works in a crime lab, trust me when I say ALL criminals are stupid. Some are just more stupid than others.

As the saying goes: Jezebel delayed is justice denied.

You know that Jezebel isn’t a breaking news service, right? They’re not local news, or the AP, or the NY Times, and they only cover “current” events a couple times a day. Most of their content is about things that occured several days in the past. Their sister site Gizmodo covered it much more quickly, which made…

I admire your attempt at putting it in perspective, but there’s only one perspective they want to read. They claim to want “facts” and “fairness” but you quickly find out they merely want a forum to shout “n*gger.” They could give less that two shits about the kid that gut tortured. He merely provided them with a…

Because we are now living in a real-life episode of Black Mirror except it never ends and keeps getting worse and we can’t turn it off.

The racists don’t give a shit about this poor kid. All they care about is being able to point and say, “Look! Some black people did something horrible so clearly all black people are racist scumbags, and I’m the victim here!”

This was absolutely horrific and I’m glad they are being charged.

It made me MORE anxious to have her constantly next to me. I’d lay awake anticipating her needing me & every little sound would seem amplified. It did wonders for my depression to get her out of my room around 2 months.

these NAMES