Also, I love the irony of Crabtree doing the bare minimum on that potential game-winning TD and the back of the end zone painted out “CRUCIAL CATCH”.

mix it with that loud and get straight gone my man

Sure. The money is definitely better going to Paul Allen. He needs it much more than the guy putting his health on the line on the field.

And there were -three- timeouts before this play. 

Semi-related: if the league is so enamored of their Thursday night games, why not just set them up for teams coming off a bye? It’s an easy rule: play Thursday night only after a bye week. Play Monday night only before a bye week. 

BOLD, sir. 

I think I found the problem.  I don’t like meeting new people.

Yeah, and the line ‘I wasn’t smoking *at the time*’ stuck out for me.

Guarantee you that she was smoking, in every one of these situations I've heard of its been a women, and a cigarette was involved. Propane is much harder to ignite than most people think... 

By all accounts......Whose accounts?

Well, there are a few options out there. Kaepernick, probably RG III, maybe the non-Mayfield Browns QBs?

now I have to do 5 Hail Marys every time I jizz on my brother’s wife?

My man probably went right back to eating his fries without washing his hands, too.

“Honey, please tell me you aren’t going out of the house dressed like that!”

I have a sneaking suspicion that by the end of the year, the act of beating Matt Patricia’s Lions won’t be viewed as a very special achievement. 

This Peterman fellow is selling his merchandise online, you say?

As Iranian sports takes on Twitter go, Mahmoud has a lot of ground to make up:

it’s the version of the yellow line that represents the line of scrimmage