Yeah, seriously, I don’t know what kind of pre-1990s ophthalmologist he’s seeing who still uses a wall chart. Would think he could afford a better referral.

“Oh my God,” he said. “... I can damn near read the fine print...wait, who the hell signed off on this CBA?”

I would say “Another lovely day in Trumpmerica (TM),” except for, you know, the entirety of black history.

Ha, “AFRO-Amercan.” I’m sure those are the EXACTLY words he uses.

Glad to be a ray of light in a dark world. (For more laugh-tears, see the season review link I posted in a different response.)

I am an emotionless shell of a human, but this brought tears to my eyes...and yet, I couldn’t turn away.

Come on, it was awesome. That deer was all like “BAM, B.”

I started out with only follow-up #1, but it just kinda snowballed. You never know where the muse will take you.

You call it “punching up,” I call it a justification for venison for dinner.

Future news follow-up #1: Deer tears ACL, will miss remainder of season.

Significantly fewer photos than I was expecting. Would not recommend.

You forgot fact-blindingly stupid

Is this the part where someone tells me to have empathy for his voters, who “aren’t all racists”? Or is this the part where we can start telling those holier-than-though fuckers to just shut the fuck up?

Shhh no one had to know :)

When reached for comment, Briles said, “This is unfair, why is everyone piling on me?” Without a hint of irony.

Much punchier. This  is why I’m not a copywriter.

Following this announcement, the NFL introduced its new corporate slogan: “We’re Not Even Trying to Pretend We Care Anymore.”

Saric getting comfortable, Embiid looks like the truth, Simmons on the horizon, plus a few more first rounders in the pipeline.

So, by your logic, college seniors who get drafted aren’t rookies because their bodies are more developed than their one-and-done counterparts?

You don’t get to suck shit in Miami and Minnesota and then magically become a deep threat again once you join the Ravens.