Dude...Halo was certainly never that serious.  

it was the big brute guy.  and the grunts.  and the elites.  There are a lot of bad guys.  You may want to visit a doctor and talk to them about the memory issues you are experiencing.

So you seem to despise the series yet have already rushed through the Infinite campaign and claim to remember nothing about it despite having just done it? All of that sounds… odd.

they only quip every so often, and most commonly when you’re dead.

Not sure what you're talking about with quick resume not living up to hype. Pretty sure kotaku has had at least 5 articles this year praising it for being a game changer...