“Looks like someone needs a buzz cut. Have fun at school tomorrow, honey!"

I really hope that is his number because I just sent a mean text.

“As I made clear in that note, candy touches on nearly every aspect of life — from Halloween to Easter to Christmas and more. We believe that Deadspin reporters and editors should go after every conceivable story, as long as it has something to do with candy. We are sorry that some on the Deadspin staff don’t agree…

Strange that my favorite fruit candy, Hi-Chew, is nowhere on the list.

If anyone wants to hit up ole’ Jimmy Spanny himself and ask him what the fuck is going on, here’s his number! 917-881-5965

Thanks for sticking to the sports content! I love this sports.

Speaking for everyone, where’s xanax?

“Stick to candy!”

Absolutely.

Give me Life’s Rich Pageant, or give me death!

A local municipal judge in my area implemented an optional text messaging service for folks with court dates. A few days before your hearing, you get a reminder text message that your appearance is required.

I know it’s only a small gesture, but until things change I’m changing my avatar to show my support for Barry and in solidarity with the GMG Union.

Perfect. Amazing.

Hey, they are with you guys!

I see what you did there. Even though Burnenko specifically told me not to post GIFs anymore...

God damn it. Stick to sports and stop talking about the MLS!

Speaking of silence and walkouts, while I see what Luis is doing here and applaud it, this is the last sports-related article on Deadspin I’ll be clicking on for a while.

Long time lurking car guy here. First post. When my wife and I first got together nearly 20 years ago, she had a ‘96 Neon. I forgot how much fun it was to drive until recently. A buddies father recently passed and he had over a dozen cars, one of which was an ‘05 (last model year) electric blue manual Neon with 169k…

Local? That has to be one of the best Neons left in the rust belt. The paint isn’t peeling off in sheets and it isn’t compromised due to heavy rust. What the...

I still remember the “Hi” marketing for this car. It was well done and really hit the aesthetic that the car had.