‘Member Ted 2? Brady’s jizz must be white gold right now. There must be at least one impotent lunatic in Boston plotting to molest Tom in an effort to create an MVP baby.

It must’ve been that rabbit Tom pulled out his ass in the 4th. I honestly believe he’s got some cross-dressing rabbit living in his anus that comes out & seduces the opposing coaches into calling pass plays instead of runs. It’s the only logical conclusion, because I refuse to call Brady a goat.