How does one add “half a soft-boiled egg”?

The emperor makes her rounds, master of all cats.

C’mon. Texas! You’ve already been told:

It’s not against the law!

The only pro sports organization named for a drug addicted poet who died broke in the gutter.

He’s not dead... He’s just really milking that dive.

your an certified dumb guy

This article was bullshit.

Geraldo Rivera and Sally Jesse Raphael were playing a game of twenty questions. Sally said, “OK... I’ve got the answer. Ask your questions.”

You ain’t wrong. From the WFMZ News site, including a quote from the arresting officer:

Candace is a bitch!

“I’m too outraged to care!”

You seem smart.

It’s called the Religious Wack-A-Doo Braid. It’s popular with women who have been unknowingly been held against their will and brainwashed from a very young age. It’s often accompanied by the highly cultivated “Million Mile Wing Nut Stare”:

-“When there was no meat, we ate fowl. When there was no fowl we ate crawdaddy. And when there was no crawdaddy to be found, we ate sand.”

Imagine that... someone involved in NASCAR is a racist. Who’da thunk?

Why do you like twine so much?

‘Cuz she’s a fucking shitbird.