-“When there was no meat, we ate fowl. When there was no fowl we ate crawdaddy. And when there was no crawdaddy to be found, we ate sand.”

Imagine that... someone involved in NASCAR is a racist. Who’da thunk?

Why do you like twine so much?

‘Cuz she’s a fucking shitbird.

Eh... He built that little box... That had to have taken a couple of minutes.

I’m with you!

your dum

“HEY!”

...these promo shots for Dark Knight Rises aren’t photos. They’re not even heavily-photoshopped photos. They’re 100% 3D models.

We get it... you’re doing “very well” and can afford to not buy tickets from a broker. It’s because of this that everyone thinks you’re so cool.

Barry O!:

BUT, KARA.... THE AD DOWN THERE SAYS IT’S A TOTAL GAME CHANGER!!!!

your dum

Oof... Diddy was there? Ya done, Kanye.

Zzzzzzzz...[gets too bored to continue].

You still seem smart and I still like you!

Jia, you seem smart and I like you. Malt powder is also acceptable and advisable (“then it’s a malt!” - so what),

Oof... I’m gonna need my Jag Rag after reading about all that Hut Swag!

For the win:

Hey, look... I’m fucking crazily educated. I fucking know words... I have the best fuckibng words.