Lawyers representing Sanders have publicly claimed that their client, who was a detective for the Baltimore City Police Department before joining the Ravens in 2004, is innocent probably pulls this shit all the time, 'cuz he's a fuckin' pig, right?

Wait... They have porn on the radio now?

These righteous kids deserve a righteous theme song!

Meow In Blood

Gross.

I don't believe you and you're racist.

Start saving your money now because come winter, you're going to want to throw down for some expensive-ass theater tickets.

Yeah, but some are really easy to see.

Not that you're wrong - Best foods is just chillin' in my fridge as I write this - but isn't Best Foods just the regional name for Hellman's?

...there is NO SHAME in enjoying a Hot Pocket. None.

Unilever has BIG plans:

Unfortunately, the claim that their whip is miraculous, despite being obviously misleading, can not be disproved. Mayo fundamentalists are the worst.

Take a chill pill... it's just pop music.

I guess I'm a jerk, but I couldn't let this pass...

That's absurd! Street prices are almost half what they're charging at shops! And the legalized recreational weed that they're selling is a lesser quality than what they sell as medical marijuana, while the black market stuff is the same as the medical.

But somehow, Wisconsin women don't hate him. Look at this dingbat...