I call SHENANIGANS! Mexican dirt weed is only $600 to $800 per pound street value. That’s garbage isn’t the same as the high quality legal stuff ya get from the dispensary.

I’ve never understood the appeal of Aston Martin. Everything else is better for less cash.

Unreliable garbage! That’s why it’s not on the list.

CRACK PIPE ANYTHING WITH A PIECE OF SHIT ROTARY! It’s got low mileage, garage kept, we’ll taken care of, NEEDS FULL ENGINE REBUILD EVERY MONTH!

CRACK PIPE!!! It’s literally the same as asking $20k for a 1999 - 2004 Mustang with an ugly body kit. You definitely wouldn’t pay $5k for a 16 year old ugly Mustang.

All the other shitty enonobox station wagons with a turbo come with AWD for this price? Seems doomed to fail. But I wouldn’t buy any of them anyway, my turbocharged fun to drive car is REAR WHEEL DRIVE manual trans & 2 doors, as Ganesha intended

I wouldn’t buy a ZERO mileage BMW for fear of the maintenance money pit. I’m definitely not buying someone else’s nightmare/project money pit that’s a couple decades old

When buying used, consider how low cost New & breakage free cars can be. A Honda Fit can be purchased NEW in the ballpark of $300 per month. Can you expect a clapped out old beater to give you more than 10 months of completely worry free driving?

There are only 2 decent commuting appliances on the list. We can live without those 2, commuting appliances aren’t in as short supply as fun to drive cars.

It’s not just the purchase price. The maintenance nightmare of an FCA shit box will cost more than the purchase price. Plus people buy cars to drive, you can’t drive a car that’s perpetually parked at a mechanic’s shop

Had a HD in 2013. The handling difference between a decent street bike & HD is like the difference between a Miata & a Peterbuilt. They’re amazingly slow compared to all other bikes, they can’t turn, & they can’t stop. I’ll NEVER buy another one of those Gawd Awful prices of shit!

You couldn’t pay me enough to take an unreliable maintenance nightmare from VAG or any German wallet drainer

Those things were very easy to kill. My wife’s burned so much oil, when she didn’t add 2 quarts per 1,000 miles the engine seized.

Mazda2 feels like a large truck or SUV from the driver’s seat. Definitely worst character trait for a tuner car

If you’re from North Florida, you know everything is fine, nothing to see here. I’m in North East Florida sitting through this rain storm, that everybody is treating like the apocalypse. It’s just some rain, no big deal

I don’t get why people would want a Supra. That engine is a 700 pound cast iron ship anchor trashing the driving dynamics. Plus the aluminum head will expand & contract through heat cycling at a different rate than the iron anchor under it, ripping apart the head gasket. Buy an engine less than 6 cylinders long, made…

I call SHENANIGANS! Volvo makes the most unreliable garbage! My cousin had an 80's Volvo, in the 80's, it’s transmission & differential NEVER worked. A friend’s mom hated all the maintenance problems with her 80's Volvo so much, she’s hasn’t purchased anything but Lexus since they hit our shores. My mom’s Volvo…

Senator Ted Kennedy killed a lady, while drunk driving & got away with it. He wrecked his car off a bridge, crashed into a river, swam to shore, & walked home. Nothing happened to him. The lady he was cheating on his wife with drowned in the passenger seat.

Great work! Thank you!

What happened copy editors? Jalopnik is always full of poor engrish, but it’s actually difficult to decipher this one.