It’s funny that you think Bill earned that solely on merit. What’s exceptional about an old, white guy using an authoritarian voice to deliver falsehoods? Bill O’Reilly is the washed up, broke down, off-brand version of Walter Cronkite that no one deserves. He wishes he was the real thing, but he’s never even come…

Rachel Maddow has been toppling him lately, actually. Dumb, loud white guys might be on the decline. *fingers crossed*

There’s no fucking winning with assholes like Bill and the useless fucks that encourage him.

Oh, just meant in general. What the hell has Bill “Papa Bear” O’Reilly done with his life but use the male authoritarian voice to push nonsense? I can’t think of one moment in his career where he’s actually accomplished anything spectacular besides becoming a meme. Meanwhile, Maxine Waters has moved fucking mountains…

HAHAHAHAHAHA DON’T YOU FEMINAZIS GET IT? MEDIOCRE WHITE DUDES DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO WOMEN, ESPECIALLY WOMEN OF COLOR, IF THEIR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE DISPLEASES THEM. SO GOOD. SO GOOD.

Adele, girl, Cher has been on that shtick for years. It’s okay to just say you’re going to scale back your tour schedule.

Yes! I react more strongly to them than I do to most spiders. I’m sure they’re all like “cool it lady, I mean you no harm” but I just can’t. I hate them a whole bunch.

I’m dying laughing right now. We also live in ex-urban Texas and so these stupid things are everywhere! I hate them so much! I feel like we’ve mostly kept them out of the house (or, at least, they stay hidden and out of the food) but when we first moved in after the rennovation crew was done it was like fighting for…

You’ve literally just ruined my life. I really do appreciate the knowledge but I’m just so traumatized right now. I think I need a moment to collect myself.

Cool. Imma still gonna squish them (or flush them down the toilet because I’m too chickenshit to actually deal with the squishing/crunching noise).

Um, ok, Josh. I guess we know your Kinja handle now.

Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. Mine has a popocorn emoji! I just got a new phone in December and my emoji options tripled! It’s been amazing.

This makes me sad. Kmart was my first job and I stayed there for seven years while I went to college and after until the store I was working at closed. My grandma actually retired from the very first Kmart in Garden City. They’ve been dying for a couple decades, though, so this doesn’t come as a huge suprise. :-/

That’s the exact thing that keeps me from feeling like a conspiracy theorist with all of this.

Which is why Al was always the second best character (second only to Wilson, who also would probably be a romantic lead in a movie these days).

Yessssss. I wish there actually was a Merkel fan fiction that I could read!

Looks like the same kind of stuff that alien cocoons are made out of in the movies.

Oh man, I just had a thought. I hope she gets to call Hillary and tell her about it and they can laugh at him together.

He looks like my three year old when she says she’s “MEAN AT ME” (aka mad at me).

Yep. That’s totally the vibe I got too. Except I bet she did it in a totally shady, non-aggressive way that only a long-term diplomat would be able to do.