How is this surprising? She has a British identical twin!!!

hard to write when ur friend is stuck in the barney

This is definitely the Blandest Timeline.

I made it nice!!!!

So i was looking for some appropriate Legolas quote gif for this whole OrlSelPer drama. I failed in that reguard. However, I found something even better, Stephen Colbert as Legolas. I knew you good folks would approve.

Two weeks from today, if I stay out of trouble, I’ll have fourteen years free from my addiction. Last night, I had a “using” dream that upset me to the core today. Thankfully, I have a phone list of friends in recovery, and I was able to call and talk my way through it today.

Man, Cadet Kelly is really moving up in the world!

something i hate about AA is how polarizing it is. next week i’ll have two years sober thanks to AA and i see it on both sides. people being adamant it’s the only solution and people (already in the comments) declaring it is garbage because it didnt work for them.

Congratulations on your white approval...

Well, I hear ADHD is almost nonexistent at Hitler Schools.

Felt the same about Gargoyles when I found out that cartoon voice actors are rarely in the same room together.

everything

two american kids killing toddlers in the heartland

When I clear away the dishes at dinner, I ask my wife “Are you Sammi and Ronnie done or Done-done? “ before I take her plate.

New Jersey revoked my residency.

leo’s facial expressions: a summary

“it’s a porn parody without the porn” was my particular favorite.

I think Rihanna blue-balling Drake might be my sexual orientation...