No one here likes Simms because Magary doesn’t like Simms’ accent.

Hi. I'm from the future. This is goddamn funny, and I hope you are still alive.

What would the narrative be then?

She lifted that joke, nearly verbatim, from Patrice O’Neal. She's not even clever enough to steal good material.

Also, they should arrive having eaten.

Something something lid of Jamaican pot. I'm tired.

FINALLY OUT OF THE GRAYS ON DEADSPIN!!! #nostoppingmenow

“STOP PISSING ON OUR GAS STATIONS!!!

“That orange jumpsuit is going to clash horribly with his Hall Of Fame jacket. If I have anything to say about it.”

Is this the saddest thing you've ever seen?

The question here is no longer “Why did the funny commenters leave?”, but “Why would they ever bother to come back?”

Fuck these savages. Call Colonel Kilgore. Send in the choppers. Fire up the Wagner. I want my men out in fifteen minutes!

Beautiful goal! It's a shame #17 didn't see it.

This happened? Why would they omit him? I'm sorry, I haven't had coffee yet & am genuinely confused. No snark.

I've never seen this! Amazing!

I graduated HS in Long Island in ‘89. I should've been aware of bands like this. People don't understand how much cooler NJ is than NY. I should've been pogo-ing right next to you at Maxwells! But I was in a Camaro drinking Meister Bräu and listening to Led Zeppelin III for the hundredth time.

+1

I saw them open for Yo La Tengo on New Years Eve at the Wellmont Theater in NJ the year they came back (2007?). I was actually kind of crying from happiness for the first couple of songs because I’d been so sure I’d never get to see them. What a great band. Cheers!