If that guy had invented a machine that gets the straw into those god-forsaken bags, he’d be a bazillionaire.

The device Evans spent three years laboring to invent is a $400 WiFi-enabled tabletop machine that squeezes juice ... out of a bag of Juicero-brand juice. It squeezes bags of juice. It is a juice press that squeezes the juice ... out of bags of juice. Bags ... with built-in spouts ... that are filled with juice. Juice…

Pretty sure it was his WAR that landed Thames in Korea too.

The perfect place for the scorching hot “people die all the time” take is obviously on a post about the death of a basketball player’s sister the day before his team starts the playoffs.

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

Back in the day the player took his hit, got back on the field, scored a touchdown, handed the ball to the ref, sat on the bench, started shaking, puked, drank a pint of Cutty Sark, forgot what he was doing, went home, beat his wife, and had a good long cry. None of this twerking, that’s for dang sure.

Check out the penalty awarded to Burnley this weekend. It happened so fast, that the official thought it hit a Swansea defender’s (Mawson) arm, instead of what actually happened, hitting a Burnley arm.

If they really are Romo’s kids, shouldn’t the QB be the one hurt?

This guy definitely walks away from explosions without looking back.

thanks! @farmeronly.com

Wobbly. Fat. Tits out in public. Pretty sure I dated her.

I did not know it was possible to grow a long beard and yet still have your face be 100% visible.

I honestly thought there could never be a worse beard in professional sports than Olivia Munn. I stand corrected.

It could be worse.

Rumspringa training.

1. Al. Al? AL! Do you really think Mentos are gum?

On a 16-hour flight, I watched The Accountant; Dr. Strange: The Magnificent Seven; Kingsmen; and John Wick. The body count on this flight was astronomical .

Wasn’t that just him cocking the gun?

Edited from the final copy: