Time passes.

Hi, I’m Dwight Howard. I have superstar numbers but every team I join gets worse and in a year everybody hates me. Here, smell my fart!

Eric Lindros comes to mind, as do Allen Iverson and Jose Canseco. Ricky Williams too. Fine players all but they can keep their warts well away from any teams I follow.

Allen Iverson

Jackson runs this team like he’s three joints in and randomly shuffling around the kitchen looking for a cure for some serious munchies.

Wade is unhappy in Chicago. Melo is getting pushed out of New York. Chris Paul is on a team that could be great if he and his teammates weren’t constantly injured.

he’s like JR Smith in a shirt

He’s droppin’ treys like he’s a bad waiter!

Um, I know it’s like trendy to pick on Tom Brady on this Deadspin site and all, but there’s nothing wrong with playing catch. Playing catch is a great way to bond with someone and it’s also great exercise. Maybe keep that in mind next time you, wait a minute, there’s that squirrel again... HEY GET BACK HERE YOU…

I understand where he’s coming from. Everyone has that old friend, who has since become a disgrace and embarrassment. I admire his loyalty for publicly sticking with him.

Being a lifelong Panther’s fan, the thought of Atlanta winning the Super Bowl feels like a personal Armageddon on my soul. But damn if Julio isn’t amazing. That guy is a fucking monster, and probably a good game away from clinching the “Best WR Alive” title belt. As much as I want to, it’s really hard to hate that…

I loathe Trump with the fire of a thousand burning suns, and it sickens me he’s in a position of power, but the day I give a shit what the pro athletes of my teams think in terms of politics is the day I stop watching sports. These guys ain’t smart or worldly, that’s not why I watch them.

Imagine this... Brady’s speech as he accepts MVP trophy: “I have been talking about this with my family, and so at this time I would like to announce my retirement. Thanks to all the fans who voted to award me this MVP trophy and who have rooted for me throughout my career. And to Roger Goodell, I would just like to…

Irsay: “There were really just too many bumps to ignore here.”

“to help launch our brand into the market...”

When asked for further clarification, Thomas said he both did and did not talk about Schrödinger’s mom.

Turn that shit up!

I felt the exact same way in the 1980's when the NBA kept selecting Larry Bird and John Stockton to the all star team every year in an obvious attempt to market the league’s white players.