GAWWWWWD. When he says "Fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave?" OWWWMYGAWWWD.

There was swag outside of my door which can only mean that Bethanny is trying to kill me.

YOUR TONGUE IS MADE OF KNIVES

Satchels of gold, Al Sharpton. Satchels of gold.

Foot. There, fixed it for you.

Her arguments were so so nuts. The only person on that show that was worse at arguing was Kelly Bensimon.

Lady Sonja Morgan of the Treemont Morgans? Was she holding a toaster oven and/or accompanied by a Nigerian soccer team also diamonds and the French shirts and Colombian bras?

I hope that means we never have to see her father again. CREEP.

She was amazing — in her capacity for delusion and her white-knuckled grip on the alternate reality in which she seemed to live. She basically called Heather "ghetto" for daring to call Aviva out on her shit. She accused Carol of hiring a ghostwriter to deflect from the fact her own book sucked. She tried to feign…

That movie's got something for everyone. Bowie, jailbait Jennifer Connelly.

Sonja Morgan was on my flight recently flying in coach. Figured she would be in first class lol

Oh my God, the other day my boyfriend and I were watching a long line of people (who we later figured out were preparing for a show) carrying these ridiculous, neon-green branch-like things over a bridge in our city and my boyfriend turned to me and asked, "Do you think they're going to kill Macbeth?"

Don't. S&M fetishes DO NOT mean you wanted your abuse or consented to it or "secretly enjoyed it" or whatever. It is entirely possible to consensually enjoy the type of sex you like and dislike rape.

That doesn't even count as weird - everyone, male, female, in between, everyone is turned on by David Bowie in Labyrinth. It's, like, a fundamental truth of the universe. Water is wet, grass is green, and Jareth the Goblin King makes people feel funny things in the pants.

Donuts.

That's not weird. Jeez, I think women are hot in hockey jerseys.

smell of fresh coffee in the morning.....

Finally, the first legitimate chance that Pissing Contest could win Pissing Contest.

the movie Labyrinth, with David Bowie