GOD DAMN that should have been the original. HOW DID I MISS THIS?!

“Listen, I know you guys are upset, but let me tell you, I know what a pick looks like.”

Your secret is safe with us Eli

Never ever splash your private matters all over the Internet. Keep them in the locker room where they can be covered up unless one of those perverted lady reporters sees it and then what will we have it’s just not right I have nothing against the girls and the girl said you’re right about that I feel nothing against…

First order of business: the commanders of all aircraft carrier battle groups will now have the title of HNIC.

Hopefully he can cut costs by 60%, or 3/5.

Feels like we’re swimming upstream with some of these puns.

Jim Irsay, every few hours: Where am I, and what is going on with the Colts?

I hate the idea of “unforced errors” being “unearned points”. She returned serves, she returned volleys, she didn’t make mistakes. She won.

My grandfather was a good-ole-boy, and used to help Bobby with recruiting in South Florida back in the 1980s. He’d be tasked with taking out a young black kid, buying him a bunch of clothes, shoes, and groceries for the family, helping solve any money problems the family had, that sort of thing.

Good thing he didn’t blow high enough for Pants-Shitting Drunk (0.25 BAC) or even worse, Former Child Star Drunk (0.30 BAC), the punishment would be a lot more severe.

Man, I wonder how good he might be on, say, the Celtics.

Finally, Richard Sherman admits to pass interference.

Where can I watch the video where she came in his face?

If she has ever been in the vicinity of Mayweather chances are he hit her.

Imagine how happy he’d be if he won the Superbowl. It’s disgusting!

All in all it’s just another brick by the Wall.

This would get a lot more views if the headline read ‘cheerleader goes down on cousins’

I’ve seen that argument made a lot.

i see that guy at the gym...rarely.