You’re just mad because imaginary Cousins averages a triple-double on the Celtics and the imaginary Wizards trade away John Wall and move to Butte, Montana and change their name to the Butte Bullboys and toxic waste spills on the imaginary Deadspin office and you and Petchesky body swap which is fun for a few days but…

What if the hypothetical Boogie-to-Boston trade had been good? What if it had been bad?

Who would ever want to live in San Diego if there’s no perennial 8-8 NFL team there? It’s like hell on earth.