I thought we fucked them all into extinction.

Blacula sure has let himself go.

"Paramount no longer has a team of overqualified people planning out future sequels."

So there's a right-wing blowhard Steve Miller and a right-wing blowhard Joe Walsh? Is a bizarro Boz Scaggs gonna show up on AM radio too?

One of those novelty guitars with cranks on them that make that plinking sound?

Imagine how dumb this century is going to look in history books: "Donald Trump, a man who until 2016 was primarily famous for reality television and numerous failed business ventures, campaigned for, and ultimately won the 45th US Presidency in order to gain access to the United States' nuclear arsenal. He then turned…

Oh honey, another pun thread…?

There've been so many, I've lost track. This one does seem particularly odious though; like he spends his evenings banging out anti-Obama screeds with one hand while jamming whole live frogs down his craw with the other.

Thanks to massive, wide-scale district gerrymandering by the GOP, this is unfortunately true.

He's unpresidented in his ownership of the best words.

99.99999% of US citizens will get that wrong. They'll also misuse 'your' at the same time.

No globehead, no globehead. You're the globehead.

A former coworker's slam-dunk explanation of why the 2nd amendment talks about guns but not cars is that owning the former is a right, and the latter is a privilege.

In other news, Trump's nominee to the position of USDA Chief Scientist is a fucking right-wing radio show host.

Keep your feminist agenda to yourself, Statue.

I hope your brain is hungry, because it's having bullets for dinner!

I'm disappointed to learn that corals will just poison your ass, not convince it to get eaten by lions.

Damn nature, you scary!

My company's got a few really crappy passwords used by entire groups.

Passw0rd. The 0 makes it secure.