This is what happens when everyone is naming their pets Henry and Steve and Charlotte. There are no human names left.

Bronx Mowgli? From the Concrete Jungle Book?

At my daughter’s swim school there’s a pair of brothers named Maverick and Striker. Their father is Ace.

It’s like Comic Sans got drunk on chardonnay and started wearing a cheap pink feather boa.

Oh to be in the room when they told Diana the baby’s name

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Stop trying to make your boring ass babies cool with my last name.”

“Jagger, Bronx, Maxwell and Ace.”

I realize that my comment, in retrospect, comes off as rather barbaric. Please note that by “punch” I actually mean “hit with a tire iron.”

Worst beard since Nicole Kidman.

Being “unique” and not following the herd is of no benefit when you’re an idiot.

Why do athletes need constant attention? If you’re good enough to compete at that level shouldn’t you have enough self confidence so that you don’t need constant assurance?

Erin:

Shouldn’t it be Bitch Better Have Moi Money?

Maybe I’m missing something (I often am), but I don’t see an issue with Schefter’s behavior.

I guess the perceived glee can be annoying, and the speed with which the information travels can be discombobulating, but arrest records have always been public records. Twenty years ago Kromer’s arrest would have been in some local paper on Monday and on ESPN Monday night.

IMO football coaches are inherently creepy people. There are exceptions, of course, but so many of them are workaholic weirdos and/or borderline mental patients.

Why would the police say he was a Bills offensive line coach when the Bills don’t even have an offensive line?

Well, Rex said he wants to build a bully. Coaches willing to punch a kid in the face are a good start. Hope he got his lunch money.

Jesus Christ. How can EVERY crime story originate from Florida?

Internalized misogyny is a hell of a thing.