Mmmmm...slider.

If he’s 300lbs, the only way he’s 6’2” is standing on an apple box (from which he ate all of the apples).

Oh, all of them, Katie.

Remember like way before Qatar was even chosen and was just in the running how EVERYBODY was saying that it shouldn’t even be in consideration? Remember that? This is like watching a low-speed train derailment. Everyone saw it coming and they still awarded the fuckers the games, anyway. I wish everyone involved in…

I’m not surprised by the Qatar numbers. I didn’t, however, hear that anyone died making Sochi, which I guess just shows you how good the Russian government is at tamping down on that news.

At the same damn time.

Go home, asshole; you’re drunk.

The hosts of the Fox morning show that’s named like it should heavily involve puppets

The entire show is built around them stepping on their own dicks. It’s so bad that SNL does a pitch-perfect parody of the dumb bastards.

Even the supporting cast was excellent. I thought the wives were superb in their parts.

• Hire Nicholas Hoult, one of Hollywood’s youngest, most attractive stars, then shave his head, paint him bone white, and have him play a character with disgusting chapped lips for the entire movie.

Armenians are honorary Italians, okay? lol

Idris Elba and Tom Hardy? I appreciate the range and vast expanses of your imagination. lol

Big Ang! She’s actually looking normal (for her) in that picture. Wow.

I’m sure they did.

In other news, the sun will rise in the east, tomorrow. Stay classy, San Diego. Goodnight.

Hey, Britain?

Not shade? Girl, bye. This is top-shelf shade. This is the haute couture of shade. This shit is the Rolls-Royce of shade. This shit so shady it could foster a field of flowering dogwoods for the rest of time. Girl’s throwing more shade than a forest of California Redwoods.

Your deliberation about the Tyga shade is whack. Like, more whack than me using the term “what” without irony.