A few years ago a friend of mine decided he wanted to show us his newly purchased engagement ring that he was planning on giving to his girlfriend. He opens the box, places it on the table, and the 3 mid-20s men in front of him stood in silence. That silence was broken when I blurted out, "So Laura likes ugly…

I created an account JUST to reply to this.

Lies? Fuck you. I will absolutely not let Ferguson go, nor should any of us. What happened there — both the murder, and the psychotically unhinged police reaction in the weeks and months that followed — was unconscionable.

My (much older) half sister got married in the early 00s when I was about thirteen, and her two older daughters (maybe 17 and 19?) were bridesmaids and they went full Ever After: body glitter, hair glitter, long flowy dresses, and maybe fairy wings? Or I might just be feeling like they wore fairy wings because it was…

anytime anyone talks about "Free Boosie" I think of our cat who we have to trap when we bring groceries, his name is Boots.

Everything is so terrible for her. I... I just have so much pity for Lena, you know? It sucks being born into unimaginable privilege and having people listen to you and reward your piss-poor efforts your whole life. It sucks so hard. I really hope she's having a good MLK Day, because his struggle is something she…

So this one time, I had my own hamburglar adventure. I was working for a small software company that got bought by a Big Company at the same time another small Canadian software was also acquired by this Big Company. Big company makes all of these changes to our respective companies to make our originally awesome…

I'm legitimately surprised it took this long. It also makes me think some secret almost got loose because I watch Shonda Rhimes shows and something like that would make for a solid third act twist.

This girl that I remain excellent friends with to this day. Now, the girl herself wasn't the problem. Nor was the act. It wasn't even the morning after. It was the afternoon after, when I met up with a friend whom I had canceled plans with due to, well, the girl.

Met a woman at a bar down the street from my old apartment. End up back at my place, she decides to give me lap dance, and falls through my glass coffee table. Later, when I was giving her head, she started talking on the phone with her fiancé.

The moment I realized a girl I was dating at the time looked almost identical in the face to Weird Al Yankovic.

If, when the debt becomes due, you tell me that you can't pay me because you needed a new pair of shoes or a new coat or you gave the money to somebody in the family who needed it more than I do—then I will consider you as an embezzler. No, I won't send a policeman after you, but I will write you off as a rotten…

When I was in middle school I ran into the ceiling.

They hoped to keep the issue in the news and accepted the consequences of their actions.

why is there no white history month, right?

I am getting red flags from this guy. The fact that he said I will give a "free ride" in exchange for a sexual act tells me he's in denial that it's not free, it's prostitution. Just because the currency isn't money in return doesn't change that. Also just because he's Caucasian and states that he's not a creep we all…

Here's a way to have fun with that if it ever happens again.

This brings back memories of when my brother, who has significant disabilities, was chosen by the football team to run out on the field and throw an honorary ball at homecoming. He could never play himself because of his disabilities, but he adored the team and handed out water at every practice. Going out on the…

I straight up punched a fundamentalist pastor bastard in the face on the FSU campus one time about 18 years ago - nope I was not a student - just went there that day to see someone (as I was a local) and this red jacketed shit head br0ther jed was going off on his schpiel and I just walked up confronted started…

Hell, I'd never shower with the guy. Or, for that matter, any other guy. Or girl. Hell no. That's just not how I roll. And I'm damn sure not about to shower in an open locker room. Hello, what about privacy? Who are these people who are showering in front of all these other people? Not me, that's who. Everyone rubbing…