The problem with the "what's your excuse" tag line is that it pre-supposes that every one wants & values the same thing (or that they should want or value the same thing)- i.e. achieving their personal version of Fit Mom's body. It follows from that presumption that if one is not actively pursuing that goal, then one…

That's what my gynecologist said to me.

This is actually indicative of the new trend happening amongst young Tumblr professionals these days, which is "labia gap." The idea is that your vaginal lips must be positioned to form a sort of upside-down horseshoe; the wider the horseshoe, the more cachet among your fellow teen bloggers. There is training that you…

We always kept a pot of decaf for the irritating ones...

Aaah, the fine art of coffee justice. Another well known tactic is to give out decaf to asshole customers. What's that, it "better be hot or else"? Yeah, good luck with your decaf lattee, douche nozzle.

Ahhh, "females." My favorite dehumanizing term for women. Whenever I hear that in real life, I ask "Female what? Squid? Groundhog? Oak tree?"

One of my friends likes to respond with "I don't trust anything with two heads and one brain"

At least where I grew up, Awana was presented as a kind of youth group, and definitely not framed in opposition to the Girl or Boy Scouts. That's what's interesting about AHG to me as a reporter — that it's basically the same thing as Girl Scouts, but with the youth group stuff shoehorned in, and marketed as such. As…

In Arizona, we read our fortune cookie fortunes followed by "except the homos."

Anyone here read The Glass Castle? It's not unlike this story. It bothers me to think of all the children who live this way, just rips my heart out. The system fails so many children, I wish there was more I could do.

Thank you for this. Someone who understands! People think its weird or its just a phase, that I don't go home for holidays or haven't returned since I finally got out of that household. Each day or year I go without talking to her is a blessing! People always say oh well when you grow up maybe you and your family can…

I've lost patience with those people. It's not a secret that there are abusive dysfunctional families out there, so even if yours wasn't, that's no excuse for being clueless. And it's *definitely* no excuse for disbelieving someone who has a dysfunctional family.

People who have regular parents...even flawed but slightly normal parents just do not get it and they never will. God bless them. They cant fathom a world where the person who is supposed to be your safe place to fall...the person who is supposed to make everything better...is actually the person you have to protect…

My mother ruined my credit, stole my identity, purchased cars, lit a fire for insurance fraud and blamed it on me, abused me sexually, physically and incredibly emotionally, and killed two of my cats, one in front of me.

Neutrogena Healthy Skin SPF 15 face lotion. I've been using it since I was probably 18 or so after my dermatologist gave me some free samples. I have very sensitive skin, but am also acne prone, and this stuff works great for keeping my skin moisturized without being too oily, isn't heavily scented, and actually…

In my last job, I wrote a column for an association publication. It had a full-length portrait that appeared next to what I wrote. I looked OK, not great in them, mainly because the art director picked dumb shots. I have a normal figure. You would not BELIEVE how many people told me I should get them reshot or…

Face it, girls. I'm older and I have more insurance.

You know the saying "blood is thicker than water"? Apparently it derives from an older saying, "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb", which pretty much means the opposite: the people you spend time with and go through troubles with are closer to you than your biological relatives. Maybe you…

I've been told to "forgive and forget" about the issues with my mom. This makes me severely angry; I can and do forgive (you cannot move on with your life if you don't) but forgetting? It's selfish to tell someone that because people don't forget. In fact (as my dad pointed out) you shouldn't forget because that's how…