This is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen you write. 

So are the wealthiest ones you stupid fuck. 

Kluwe is a dipshit, so that pretty much confirms the tip affected it. 

Your phone/tablet/computer doesn’t have the capability of exiting a movie? Aw, man, you should really invest in this revolutionary technology.

What a strange existence it must be to have this level of hatred towards an electronics company. 

“There’s a perfect reason why Florida and Texas both always disappoint: they are America’s dick and balls.”

You do realize he’s married to political consultant Mary Matalin, not hearing impaired actress Marlee Matalin, right?

Why would it be shitty to grab it on purpose? It’s there. It’s legal. These dudes are pros who get paid to stop the other guys. 

Then why wouldn’t he stay in Cleveland and maximize his earnings even more?

I’m fairly certain you’re full of shit when you say you live in New Orleans. Cantrell was far from a loud voice on removing the monuments. She complained about “the process,” and in fact many thought she’d vote against removing them until she relented at the last moment.

Is this what you overheard football players say about punters?

One of us is terrible at math because I’m pretty sure 7’1” is 17” taller than 5’8” not 29.

You’re an idiot.

“With the first selection in the 2018 Draft, the Cleveland Browns select...”

“XXXTentacion”

What’s wrong with the word “ally”? Could you find any other nits to pick?

If monkeys evolved from Donald Trump then why are there still Donald Trumps?

Why you gotta go and talk shit about mayonnaise, man?

Counterpoint: Taxis in my city are fucking awful.

What the fuck is a “fark”?