Pepe?

I briefly flirted with the idea of buying a 1st-gen Mazda6, and I would have bought a “JOY OF 6" vanity plate to celebrate. Glad I didn’t!

“The Herald notes that Carson took the incident in good spirits, smiling as he emerged from the sunken place.”

Of course he was smiling. Lobotomies do wonders for the mood. 

The Atari Jaguar, TurboGrafx 16, Panasonic 3DO, Sega 32X, Sega Dreamcast, Nintendo 64, and PlayStation Vita were all the most powerful hardware in their perspective console/handheld generations on paper, AND YET they were second-fiddles in comparison to their competitors.

“Tillerson is just jacking off in his office while foreign policy crises explode around him”

That explains his curt answer about Syria.

I’m a single dude with a VW Golf hatch, and my previous car was a VW Golf hatch. Both cars are the largest I feel comfortable driving without being excessive. Golfs are considered family-sized cars in Europe, so it seems reasonable that the compact can do similar duties here in the U.S.

Pre-wrapped gifts have always driven me crazy. Baseball cards in particular were the bane of my youth, as I was silly enough to manually piece together complete card sets; my 11th birthday party was presents filled with Topps baseball cards packs to make this happen.

And now there’s KidRobot stuff. Mega Man, Street…

“Jesus Saves; Tebow Sucks”

He’ll finally have time to grab some (park) bench!

I tried on two medium-sized American Giant hoodies (in different colors) when they were sold at Bloomindgales over the holidays. Despite being the same designated medium, the fits were different, with one being baggier than the other. It was disconcerting.

I tried on two medium-sized American Giant hoodies (in different colors) when they were sold at Bloomindgales over…

“Douchebag” alternatives I like: dickbag; shitheap; scabbedknob.

I’m adding “little shit” to my vocab. Thanks!

I’ve lived in and visited many cities over the past 10 years, and I’ve encountered several cabs that did not have credit card machines. It does happen!

I’ve heard Durant’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more. 

There will be many an eager salesmen that will try to sell you a 340i, which has a turbocharged 3-liter inline six.

“I’m a Trump stan, but... Michelle can get it.”

I read it as TuBerculosis 12, and it made sense.

Anyone convinced to buy this car based on these ads shouldn’t be handling money or a car.

Looks like a Stouffer’s lasagna bubbling over. 

He would have lurched towards Ivanka, arms outstretched towards her hips like a lecherous Frankenstein.