I work as a teen librarian so i am cosigning this so hard. Also when do we get a column about what really happens in a library? My first week at my new job there was 3 turds not in the toilet. 3 in a week!

damn i gotta go to the library more often

I like this story; I don’t care that it never happened

I taught a class he was in while I was in grad school. He wanted me to call him “Sir.” I called him “F.”

You’re barking up the wrong tree, motherfucker. Vince sees and hears everything.

A lot of Texas relies on volunteer firefighters, and the budgets and equipment apparently really suck. I remember the state budget cuts got a fair amount of press coverage a few years back when there were some large fires in the Austin area.

As a side note, it’s been increasingly difficult for volunteer fire…

People who make shit comments like “Good” or “Darwin Award” give themselves away as people who have never faced a horrific situation and had to deal with it. I’m a firefighter and have been at the scene of accidental deaths when family members were present. It’s a scene of grief and sorrow and anguish that’s…

Ugh, my cousin was at a party where the exact same thing happened. Either it was the same one or that has happened at least 2 times too many.

How the hell do you think they make angel hair pasta?!

Airsoft gun.

Why is that girl putting her hair in the food she’s making?!

Never has a series of GIFs made me more uncomfortable.

Ugh.

Wait. . . isn’t that how everyone refers to their attractive negresses? You learn something new everyday!

Harris Faulkner sounds like a Salinger character.

that is the textbook definition of a face for radio.

It's like a mysteriously uglier Michael Rappaport.

This will not get as many stars as it deserves.

He’s from Metaluna, obviously...