He’s Captain Caveman:

Pacman revealed that many of the players’ wives would be visiting Paris during their trip to Europe. Then Pacman smiled, winked and asked my dad “You know about that French pussy, right?”

Right you are, Ken!

Was the halftime video a test to determine if everyone ignores it? Carly Rae Jepsen was so out of place that I had to click on it. So, I guess I never click on it unless you’re testing me.

This is a good reminder that the U.S., during its ruthless and overwhelming pursuit for gold, should be aware of the dire circumstances in African countries.

This is a hairy situation.

In true Brazilian fashion, they just want him to come back so they can rip all his hair off.

Color me surprised.

All he needs is to be drunk in order to achieve peak “Negative Irish Stereotype” status.

Thank goodness he's ok - it would have been really ugly if he dyed.

Win all the medals, you get to dictate the terms.

He sure seemed confident that he’s done with competitive swimming.

I’d suggest that both men and women have 800 and 1500 free events. It’s not absolutely necessary that they get rid of an event if they add another - they just want the number of men’s and women’s swimming events to match. So if they add the 800 for men and the 1500 for women, the genders have an equal number of events…

Losing a men’s race is a possible result, but I’d suggest they expand swimming by a day and give the men the 800 too. The only problem - I doubt the IOC gives a shit what I think.

Exactly! It’s seemed like the kind of dispute resolution you’d see Montessori preschoolers tolerate.

We had our chance for a Blades of Glory-style podium disaster with Phelps and le Clos! Then they had to go and be adults about it. Booooooo.

Women don’t race the 1500 in the Olympics, though, but men do. Because the IOC is afraid that women will evaporate after exerting themselves for too long, maybe? I dunno, but I’m guessing they’ll rethink that approach - we’d all like to see Ledecky lap someone in an Olympic final.

It’s fun that everyone knew the outcome of an Olympic final before the race even started. The announcers couldn't even bother to attempt to manufacture drama.

It just got a little dusty in here.

How can they fail to show us the medal ceremony after they tied?!? We could have a Blades of Glory situation on our hands here! (Although all of the circumstances lead me to believe it’s more likely to be the exact opposite kind of situation.)