"Oh man, what if football ... was no good... at me?"

I was going to give you a +1 earlier, but Kinja had Gremlins.

But it's already in a Cubs jersey.

They tried to take two steps forward but took two steps back.

Considering the possible ramifications of going to a movie in Colorado, the first person I'd invite is my shooting guard.

Peyton's request is a nice change of pace from Denver's last playoff winning QB, who wouldn't shutup about his love of spirits.

Eli, on the other hand, would never mess with that "light" shit. He goes right for the crafts.

At least he was casual about it. Unlike women, who always have to make such a big production out of ceilings.

Oh man, he is going to be so confused later when people ask him what his handicap is.

Guy on floor: Come on, man, you really have to fix that ceiling. That thing has no weight support, and it's a hazard to the entire building. What will your customers think? It's a disgrace! I haven't seen a ceiling this terri...

"Please don't remove me from your list."

If J.R. wants to change his image, maybe he should stop hanging around known criminals like the Hamburglar.

Michael Jordan may be a big fan of beer pong (because he cheats at it)

I do have to say that part of me agrees with the point that Mushnick is trying to make. Take, for example, when Jim Nantz says "hello friends" to start a broadcast. Nantz and I have never even met, and if you were to look up "friends" on wikipedia, surely the act of meeting would be a vitally important prerequisite…

Mushnick's issue with Moving The Chains is that he don't care if your wrists hurt, them fields ain't gon' plow themselves.

As further evidence of Musberger trying to sound "hip," Mushnick pointed out that he kept referring to "pop" as "soda" and "negroes" as "people."

Only the top half of Cink's head is welcome at The Masters.

3:30 in the morning, not a soul in sight
KD rippin bowls on a moonless summer night
raindrops on the windshield, there's a storm movin' in
Thinkin about that 'ship that Lebron won't let him win

Stewart Zinc.