He's just showing off. After all, not every Olympic athlete in Sochi has the benefit of working drawers.

You'd think a fun guy like him would be way into talkin' about smoothies.

For the record, I only want to return to the 50s and 60s so I can drink at work and screw my secretary*.

I guess you missed the part where they said they brought in a bunch of Giant fans.

"That's not exactly what I had in mind, but fuck it."
- Erwin Schrodinger

"Yes, Mr. Geist, by all means please explain to us once more how a six-foot tall, fluffy, white bear wearing a blue scarf planted the heroin on your person . . . "

I really don't give a fuck what you think, nor does anyone else. Go fuck yourself you goddamn douchetaco.

Bonds called his shot? I thought he was a cream/gel guy.

Finishing fourth in an Olympic event has to be one of the worst feelings an athlete can experience.

"Jaguars are a terrible investment."

Christine Jorgensen , Dick-Waiving Angel

The report describes Incognito as the "Maine instigator"

I'm sure their ears perked up when they got to "Leonid Brezhnev."

Chaz Bono will be happy to discuss how to become a Been-Gal.

Management will determine your proper color analysis.

Tim, don't you find it rather difficult to assert clearly while your tongue is in fact in cheek?

"See?!?!"

And what do they do with the now-unneeded silver?

He could just as easily be perpetually stoned.

A largely stationary object in Oakland that's unable to hit the side of Barnes? It must be the Oracle's way of predicting the second coming of JaMarcus Russell.