Joke's on you. The platter consists of two dozen bran muffins and a half-gallon of hot, black coffee.

I am in no way excusing the alleged conduct of these young men, but it doesn't surprise me that Palo, Cruise didn't know what to do when she said goodbye.

I thought it was rated BG because the franchise is 2/3 of the way into the grave.

felt a cantankerous rumbling in my GI region

Sure beats Mitch Albom's coterie of mindless groupies, the Dim Freepers.

Nothing is binding about it

.

It's a remarkable accomplishment for a remarkable young man and a testimony to the incredible advances that technology and modern medicine have made. That being said, I'm still rather unclear about how a guy in his condition will be able to deliver babies.

Nice role-reversal there. Usually it's the Knick fans doing all the fretting in the Garden.

Unemployed guys say crazy shit to Cartons all the time, especially when they leak during a heavy rainstorm.

I think Schiano gets the nod. If there's one thing Haslam loves, it's a kicked-back Buc.

The sweaters' colors say AMERICAN, but their texture and design scream AFGHAN.

+ All the Tostitos™

That's just plane dumb.

No, you idiot! I said that your image rehabilitation begins by showing off a somber A-Rod!

[Rambling, emotional diatribe which cites several statistics and a gut-wrenching personal anecdote which may or may not be heavily embellished if not an outright fabrication, all of which is in response to a literal reading of the post and the utter failure to grasp its intended, satirical tone.]

Miami has announced they will be building a statue of longtime analyst Tommy Hutton which, not unlike the Brewers' comically distant placement of the Ueker tribute, will be situated in the fourth row of Marlins Park.

No, he was not. The east side of the city of St. Louis is downtown. Chase is talking about the East Side which is the collection of Illinois hamlets right across the Mississippi from downtown. Due to Illinois' liberal "titties and beer" laws, the East Side provides St. Louisans (who are subject to Missouri's more…

Isn't having imaginary haters a pretty good indicator of some degree of mental illness? Is it possible that Nicco's bananas?

I'd +1 this, but I don't want to egg you on.