Jenn Sterger held a similar press conference utilizing a tater tot and a bicycle tire as props.

The silver carp has rapidly become the official fish of Deadspin.

Just like Patti Hall wasn't the first person to marry a Rusty Wallis.

It was defensive end Jason Hunter, by his girlfriend, in Detroit.

Pepe offered this statement after the game, "I am ze broken heart of love. I am ze disillusioned and wish to enlist in ze foreign legion so I may forget. Take me!"

I thought "Shadi Mohammed" was the name of the discount electronics store that had the terrible misfortune of having its grand opening on September 10, 2001.

Jesus. I just turned 43 a few weeks ago. You people are practically children.

He should be more concerned with the gentleman whose hand is precariously close to his dikh.

Sorry, I'm just not buying Randy Quaid in this new "Smokey and the Bandit" reboot.

Well, if I have to say something nice about that letter I will say that it did remind me to return that Chinese phone book.

More than likely he's using his pants.

His sewer charges are the lowest they've been in 3 months. I guess someone got a jumpstart on the matzo-eating season.

Pictured Above NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell on the verge of winning a game of charades with his spot-on imitation of Franklin Gutierrez.

+35

+1

Not Pictured Above: Clever midgets.

You are not permitted to use the term "ex box" without the express written consent of Chaz Bono.

So what you're trying to say is that between Kane and Carlos it wasn't exactly a banner night for Chicago's Boozers.

Not sad-Jayhawk; schadenfreude-fueled Tiger.

Are those Snickers bars propped up on top of a casket?