I suggest going with the “technically anal and blowjobs don’t count, sir” response.

This is child’s play compared to when Rangers fans chanted “Buy a Porsche” at Bob Froese after Pelle Lindbergh’s death.

I find it hard to believe that a Texan could count all the way to 803.

Patrick Kane was unavailable for comment after the game, as he was en route to an Alpha Tau Omega mixer in Bloomington, Indiana.

This would’ve been funnier had you posted a “Root For the Cardinals in the Playoffs” article that was completely blank.

I’m not sure what’s worse today - Pictures of Cubs fans flocking to the streets of Chicago to celebrate a <Wild Card> win, or Bucs fans that somehow feel jilted despite “only” making the Wild Card round...again.

If there’s a lesson in all of this, it’s that this will be the last time Skybar serves Jalapeno Bacon Mac & Cheese.

Or Allen Iverson’s wife.

Seems he’s been removed from the UConn Ski team, per google:

“Is there a taste to the cawk?”

I call bullshit.