I have a co-worker who insists he has celiac disease. Absolutely makes a big deal about it whenever we have office parties, etc., so we are very careful to include gluten-free alternatives for him. Not a big deal. I have a friend who is honest-to-GOD-diagnosed-by-a-specialist (not WebMD or Dr. Oz)-sufferer of celiac,…

2 observations:
1. That dog looks like an aerobic instructor from the '80s
2. That cat has failed in the #1 cat objective (sometimes #2 or #3, depending on cat and circumstances), which is knocking all those dolphins off the table-preferably around 1:00 AM.

Well, shit. I guess I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life being kind of an asshole. Bummer. Maybe 40 is the new 30?

For some reason, I kept thinking of Zoolander. "I can't turn right!" (Or is it left? It's been a while.)

My Barbies were reluctantly acquired by my feminist mom, so my accessories were spotty at best. But my Barbies basically lived in a telenovela all the damn time, and I had super fun with them and my limited resources. Like the time Hawaiian Barbie tried to steal Ken from Barbie, but Ken was having an affair with Midge…

Maybe it's because she grew up in a different era, but my mom ALWAYS tips. Everyone. If she's standing next to you waiting to cross the street, she'll probably tip you. So my brother and I also tip (except I didn't know about hotel maids, even though apparently all this time mom had been tipping them on family…

I stopped watching Torchwood, so I don't know what ultimately happened to his character or if this is even possible, but I sometimes wish they would bring back Captain Jack Harkness and make him the Doctor's companion. I would watch the shit out of that. John Barrowman. Hotcha.

Donna was my #1. Did anyone else find Martha Jones just incredibly annoying?

I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying all of this...except I just did.

This is my Norwegian Forest kitty (mostly, although there's a bit of his man-whore Tom cat dad in there, too). Thank goodness he's a mutt or he would be even bigger than he already is. WHICH IS HUGE. He likes to cuddle on my chest, which was sweet when he was a kitten, but potentially deadly now.

They stopped being a guilty pleasure for me a long time ago. I used to be fascinated by their extreme couponing and highly organized lifestyle and in the early days there was less evangelizing. But now...now all I want to do is slip Jim Bob some saltpeter and liberate Michelle's uterus before it just slops out of…

I have thinning, thin, oily dark brown hair and I like to use Not Your Mother's Clean Freak Dry Shampoo. It goes on white, but I rub it in and comb it through and it goes away. I have to wash my hair almost every day, though, because my scalp gets so itchy if I skip a day and I end up looking like I've got a kilo of…

As a southerner, that there is a deal-killer for me. And my favorite grits of all time come from a Junior League cookbook-green hatch chilies and sharp cheddar cheese grits. Jesus. It changes you.

A flauta is a rolled taco around here. A taquito is a breakfast burrito you get at Whataburger.

Jeezy creezy. The human body is disgusting. Also, I am watching this with a Biore strip on my nose and I am very excited about pulling it off.

And you never have to see a "compromise movie", you can watch whatever the hell you want! I love going to the movies alone. I usually wait until a movie is in its last week or two in the theatre and go on a Tuesday to the 10 PM show. I fully admit to being a cinematic misanthrope.

The most liberating thing I ever did was to pretty much stop celebrating Christmas all together. I only buy amusing little presents for people I like and I don't put up a tree or do anything the day after Thanksgiving except read smutty romance novels and eat left-over pie.

Back when my uncle lived in the country, he had a chicken named Clucker, but whom we all called Fucker because she was almost as evil as a goose. No one cried the night Clucker died.

I...still kind of like her? It's strange, she's like one of those friends all your other friends keep telling you to drop because she's always got some annoying drama, but you still stay friends with her because...well...shit, I don't know why. I still kind of like her, despite everything. I just pretend she's drunk…

OMG. I was just thinking about that book! I am going to go to the public library right damn now and find these (Ok, technically, I work in the library, so really, I'm just going upstairs, but still...).