I miss the bubbles, so I’ve been getting carbonated waters. They aren’t ideal, as they cost more than soda and are still bad for your teeth, but soda is probably up there as the worst thing you can do for your health behind smoking.

I’m picturing you going to an ice cream place, running in, drinking a bunch of cucumber water, and not ordering anything. “Thanks for the water! I feel much better.”

For instance, I hear he has a huge dick.

It’s an amazing story of two boys growing up to be two men. Then, in the sequel, one of those men becomes a warboy.

https://www.harborfreight.com/55-lb-rugged-cast-iron-anvil-69161.html
There isn’t even a background check!

Basketball and American Presidential elections are zero sum, one team wins and another loses. There isn’t a compromise between teams that will benefit both teams.

Old fat Chevy Chase still killed it, though. He fell on a drum set in one episode. I can’t remember anything about the episode, just him falling down on a drum set. Genius. 

Such a great gag:

Me too.

It’s been suggested it was for racists, since the ad pissed off liberals.

No, they were more into repetitive high-impact dickhead trauma.

Ignorance isn’t a virtue.

Pal, that’s how old I was when my parents took me to Star Wars!
For real. Apparently it was a disaster, they took turns taking me to the hall because I was crying, since I was a little baby.

“Why are these cheese sticks $100?”

I would like 1 cocaine, please.

It’s a side hustle economy, everyone has 2 or 3 jobs.

Thanks for pointing out that it can always be worse!

I watched a couple movies with my girlfriend when we were visiting my parents one time. There were probably 15 minutes of love scenes during 4 hours of movie. She walked in every time.