I might as well throw in a couple second-hand ones from my former boss: he grew up poor in Malibu (yes, that is possible up in the canyon) and went to school with some Hollywood offspring - Emilio Estevez (really cool nice guy, got voted "Best Hair" his senior year at Santa Monica High), Chad McQueen (big cokehead),…

This is not even a real brush with fame, and I don't think I ever mentioned it to anybody, because it is so pathetic, but here goes...

I did tequila shots with Billy Bragg.

What the hell was Paris Hilton doing at Barnard?

I sat behind Gary Busey while he very intensely watched Gerard Depardieu's Cyrano. Busey was... distracting.

We never take him out of his original packaging. It keeps him from the elements.

This one is pretty great, even though "Tacky" has been the best one for me so far.

The documentary linked above features some older virgins! Including me! It is a very awesome, sex-positive, feminist documentary. When Therese started making it, she had the perspective of analyzing slut-shaming and purity culture, but she discovered the problem of prude-shaming along the way. It's a very nuanced…

I'd rather pay for a table than have to deal with one of those assholes any day. But, I'm also a hippo so what do I know.

This is what happens when you try to get free shit from sleazy people.

Um, did you just imply hippos are not graceful?

I have never understood the appeal of Vegas. From where I'm sitting, you saved a bunch of money and protected your liver.

Seriously, she was like, um ok nm then, and he's like BUT WAIT NO HIPPOS BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO COME TO THE #1 CLUB IN AMERICA? BUT NO HIPPOS. BUT WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOINNNNNGGGG??? Lol what a moron.

This show would be a lot more interesting if it was about older virgins. Older virgins have much more interesting stories to tell. That's where friendly ribbing from friends morphs into society really making you feel alien.

I don't know. I mean have you seen how much horses shit?

I'm a virgin past the age at which it is statistically common to be a virgin and the only thing that really bothers me about it is that apparently I can't actually use my virginity to summon unicorns. I feel cheated.

As someone who abstained until I got married at 25, it always exasperates me that there's this fascination and pressure surrounding losing your virginity. It really isn't that big of a deal unless it's made out to be. Statistics have shown that a significant portion of people arrive and even *leave* college as virgins…

Not for everyone. Not everyone likes sex.

You know, it's very easy to say we shouldn't be obsessed with virgins but if you know of another kind of blood with which to summon our dark lord upon the earth...I'm all ears.

Nothing can prepare you for how underwhelming your first time is.