That was the definition of “cinema”, you knob.

I ain’t fartin’ on no snare drum.

I hate the headline chosen for this, because it made me think I could actually invite the Muppets to my wedding. Fuck you.

No, nobody has ever said those things, including the people talked about in this article. The article that you did not read.

Can we contact your previous employer, The American People?

If he’s not acting as a lawyer, then there’s no attorney-client privilege.

Can they just please add Channing Tatum’s space-angel-werewolf from Jupiter Ascending? I don’t care if it doesn’t fit the plot, force him in.

I’m conflicted. On the one (way more important) hand, this is fantastic news. On the other hand, I bet my friend that Mike Pence would never be president. I know that impeachment doesn’t mean Trump will be removed, but it’s one step closer to me losing $100.

I just asked an unborn fetus, “Would you rather live or die?” and then the lady whose body contained said fetus said, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” and started hitting me.

I am definitely interested in this. And I was really glad to see the line about co-op. I would really love to play this with my wife.

I starred this because it’s great, but also because I got to give you your 69th star. Take that, FCC.

Holy shit. I have nothing clever to say. Just. Holy. Shit.

I’m ashamed to admit I like a Brett Ratner movie, but yeah, I like Tower Heist. The whole cast is pretty funny and it’s fairly charming and Eddie Murphy is the funniest he’d been for a while.

Little tomato snowflake. It’ll be okay, little baby.

Hey, if my neighbor needs to kill the massive varmints that overrun every American grocery store, you can be sure I’ll let him borrow a military-style weapon with armor-piercing rounds, and there’s nothing you or any other Brit can do about it. It’s my God-given right.

badabadeep bada dee bada deeba daba dabadabadabadaba

Gunther is the sullen Bill Murray character.

Wait, who’s her father?

Imagine thinking that you understand debate, going on a rant about how smart you are at debating, and somehow coming to the conclusion that it is not incumbent upon you to explain your position. What a fascinating experiment in arrogant ignorance.

I did engage with what you said. What you said was nonsense. You then followed it up by not engaging with what I said at all. Your chosen pull-quotes do not count as engagement.