Got it, the best strategy we have is to tailor everything to the morons who write headlines at Breitbart, because they are the all-powerful overlords who are the only ones capable of convincing middle America.

The Dollar Tree has many copies of Ivanka Trump’s book.

When a question is fundamentally broken from the get-go, why bother addressing it? The question is designed to distract from the actual issue and pay homage to the horseshit that the GOP shovels about FREEDOM and MY RIGHTS.

I DIDN’T CUM IN YOUR BURRITO. I WOULDN’T DO THAT TO YOU.

Dude, Hillary lost, get over it.

Magic is a terrifying movie. Anthony Hopkins was terrifying before he became Hannibal.

That movie is still fucking terrifying.

They might be scared now, but when they’re older, all the shit that scared them as a kid will be their favorite shit.

I’m not sure I’ve giggled as an adult as much as I have playing Mario Chase, Luigi’s Ghost Mansion, or Animal Crossing: Sweet Day. Those games are absolutely brilliant and I am sad they will be stuck on that sweet, incredibly awkward system.

Crazy, AOC told me that the migrants are having to buttchug molten metal. If only someone like Steve King could show us that it’s really not that bad.

He is a toilet.

How dare you question God like that. Just because it’s simpler, less messy, and you don’t get nearly as many of those stringy bits when you open a banana from the tip rather than the stem doesn’t mean it’s the right way. And then you bring up monkeys. I bet you believe in evolution, don’t you? Even after I proved the…

McCain has neither the intelligence nor composure of an average American baby.

Look, if you don’t believe in God, let me just tell you a little thing about bananas:

In fact, he already has:

You ask if you can disturb their stuff? Nah, just move that shit and give them the stinkeye back. They’re the asshole, not you.

I liked Black House a lot more than Talisman. It’s been a long time since I’ve read them, so I don’t know how I would feel now, but I felt like Black House made slogging through Talisman worth it.

If a bro is just sayin’ it, then it’s definitely worth bein’ said, right bros???

Agreed completely.

Yeah, but she’s a lady, so that makes her a million billion years older (and therefore completely unfuckable a.k.a. Box-office poison) than either of them.