Hey, I know people keep calling this guy Elite, but he gets into all sorts of trouble when he gets out of the pocket.

“Whoa whoa! You can plan parenthood?”

Excellent list.

When compiled in one post, these bad tweets make tremendous content.

“You can’t smoke in here.”

Go back to stahbucks!

That phone reminds me of this instant classic from last night.

Yeah, while I don’t condone what he did I can’t ignore that she beckoned him over and grabbed him when he appeared to be leaving and then she pushed and then struck him in the face. His first reaction to being accosted appeared to be to show her that he won’t tolerate her putting her hands on him which he defiantly…

Bullshit. Joe Jackson is a no talent hack who only got to where he did by exploiting his children’s talents with no regard for their well being. He has no place being elected to the hall of fame.

First they came for the Jews, and I said nothing.
Next they came for the blacks, and I said nothing.
Next they came for the gays, and I said nothing.
Next they came for the Mexicans, and I said nothing.
Next they came for the baseball writers, and I said “BY GOD THE SANCTITY OF THE HALL OF FAME MUST BE DEFENDED!!!!”

Only one. That I didn’t kick him the nuts instead.

monogamy took the bone, and matrimony took the balls.

MAKE IT POINTIER

Can we highlight the fact that the NFL banned Kanye’s cleats because they don’t “have a solid base color” but allow this to be a team’s uniform set?

I blame the closing of the coal mines.

small businesses around america say they need help to survive in an increasingly hostile business environment, but let me ask my small business owner friends this: why haven’t you injected your employees with steroids and forced them to battle each other on top of ladders while wearing thongs?

It’s not a black-white clip until someone calls the black guy lazy.

See if you can fit this around your brain, Adolph Rupp. It’s close to the end of the quarter (high schools play quarters). The offense is running down the clock to get a last shot. The defense isn’t fouling BECAUSE IT WOULD MEAN A ONE-AND-ONE. The…

I’m a wizard, Barry.

I’m not a cuddler at all. I’m not a huggy person and I don’t like my husband to touch me while we sleep but I co-slept with all of my kids and it was different with them. It’s super irritating at times but for the most part it was ok.